Gratitude * Sunday
Quote of the Week
Sunday Haiku
White, ethereal, fog rises from damp earth, shrouds last harvest field wide.
Sunday Musings
Several years ago, after some usual tough times, I was searching for a way to get more relief from the distress of everyday living. I had tried many things and kept many of them in my routines: walking, meditating, yoga, being outdoors in nature, swimming, other forms of self-care. Nothing changed. Certainly not the financial security piece.
I started writing this blog as a way to vent some frustrations, then I got a good therapist, and after much resistance, I started taking anti-anxiety meds. Those helped me a little to control my emotions about the “bads” in life. Everybody has “bads:” griefs, gripes, or grossities; I’m not the only lucky one. At least I make an effort toward growth and being a better me each day. Like practicing keeping my temper because my body does not respond well to drama.
I stumbled upon a woman’s blog based on gratitude. I started paying attention to the “goods,” the comforts, the joys, the little things that happen every day along the way. Making all the lights on the way home. Remembering to return library books on time. The shirt I wake up wanting to wear is clean and not wrinkled. The water comes on when I turn the tap. My roof doesn’t leak, and my house is warm. I have an abundance of lovely stuff to live with including a few people.
Church had never worked for me. I cry in churches. Sermons make me cry. The congregation makes me cry. The choir and the music bring me to tears as well. Too much stimulation and too many souls in one place all busy feeling their own grief and I feel every bit of it. It’s happened in every church I’ve been in, doesn’t matter if it’s a wedding, a funeral, or a weekly Sunday service. It doesn’t feel soothing to my soul.
I began daily gratitude as a spiritual practice. Some of it is easy to do, such as, it’s cold outside, but my house is warm. Some of it is harder. The more I am grateful for little things, the more I experience relief from the distress of the big things, like needing a family car now the kids are living with me (they are old enough to navigate public transportation). I don’t have everything I want, but it became easier to look at challenging events with a lighter spirit, with less worry, with less trepidation.
It meant doing some reframing. Such as: I don’t have this particular thing I want, but I have this other thing. I’m so grateful I have this other thing, and now how can I find a way to get or have the other thing I want? Do I really need the thing I want? How many times can I cut corners and still have the comforts I require? I’m grateful for it all including the dilemmas. I can live with gratitude daily.
The fascinating thing is it’s working for me. My house needed painting. I am so grateful to have my house. I lusted after homeownership most of my adult life and finally made it happen. Being the person who falls through the cracks and doesn’t qualify for a standard bank home mortgage loan, I found a different way to own this house and the privilege of a property tax bill. The outside paint was original from 1985. I didn’t have any money for paint and no ability to do the painting.
It wasn’t magic. I asked for help.
It took two years, a federally funded program called Habitat for Humanity, and a dozen or so volunteers, but I have new paint. I got to pick my colors. I love it. The hubs likes it too. I’m grateful I was able to make it happen. With help.
It’s not easy asking for help.
You know what? People like helping. It makes us feel good. With some people more able than others, helping seems like it should be an everyday part of life.
None of this means I don’t experience anger, frustration, or any of the other emotions we need to survive in this lifetime. I do all of that, probably extremely so because of hyper-sensitivity, including when it takes ages to accomplish the goal. In the end, for my own sanity, I have to turn it all to gratitude. Otherwise, I’m eaten up inside with all the bads. As the old platitude goes “life’s too short” to dwell on the bads. It’s been so much better for me to learn to go through whatever experience and be grateful for the learning.
Not only does stuff get done and material stuff shows up at prices I call affordable in my budget, but I feel less stress about the whole mess of living in this society. My spirit feels lighter. Maybe the feeling is complicated by caring less about stuff as I age, less about everything for that matter.
The universe knows. I mean, really. The universe knows; we are all connected. We may not know each other but I’m grateful for all y’all, and all us’all, and I’m grateful for you because we all have different skills and knowledge; I’m willing to listen to yours. I’m grateful for me as well, because, well, I’m a good listener. See? You can be grateful for all manner of things.
Color Watch – colorful attractions in my neighborhoods this week – The red of my favorite rock and its green moss patches.
Current View – {These are only my opinions about movies and books, but don’t let me stop you from trying these reviewed items yourself; your opinion may differ.} When you are older and retired you get to choose whatever peculiar thing you want to do. I’m watching (hwell, I have them on in the background) a passel of old Christmas movies. I might watch Christmas movies until Christmas is over. Feeling the need of red and green stimulation along with fantastically sappy holiday stories. So far, I’ve watched the first two Home Alone movies, and the first two Santa Clauses with Tim Allen.
Currently Reading – still between novels. Looking for the Winter Classic I want to read. Solstice is just a month away.
This week I have been grateful for:
- Watching Baby’s intellectual and physical growth.
- Having time to enjoy watching Baby’s growth. I was too busy working and going to school while rearing her father. I missed so much.
- Five-minute work windows.
- Persistence.
- Making progress on a long-term cleaning project.
- Little Christmases.
- Knowing most families don’t have commercial-style Christmases with highly decorated homes, a pile of shiny presents under the ten foot tall tree, and a new Lexus in the driveway.
- Colorful lights to chase away the darkness blues.
- Giving myself permission. To not write. To not clean. To not shop.
- Kids spending the holiday with other family and bringing home a big platter of leftovers. The best part!
- Raspberries, when the store is out of strawberries.
- Water.
Hoping you have a lovely week.
Namaste. Peace. Blessings.
Floral ribbon border by Laurel Burch
Sassy Kas 