Gratitude * Sunday
Quote of the Week
“Old age and the passage of time teach all things.” Sophocles
Sunday Haiku
Summer premieres in
late spring, heat foreshadowing
hot, dry August days.
Sunday Musings
Is it pathetic for a 70-year-old woman to miss her mother? Maybe, but I miss mine like everything. I’d love to hear her voice again. I want her to tell me stories about her life. I need her to say one more time, “Chin up, babe.”
Some of us weren’t lucky to have decent parents. I was. They weren’t perfect; parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual. In my view though, they did everything they could to give their four children a good start in life.
We weren’t rich. Dad worked outside in the real world, and until I was 12 Mom took care of us kids, which is to say, she gardened, canned fruits and vegetables, sewed our clothing, cooked three meals a day mostly from scratch, chauffeured us to music lessons, den mothered for Boy Scouts for the boys and was a Camp Fire Girls leader for my sister and me. She room mothered in our grade schools at a time when moms provided homemade treats for special events during the months of the school year. She helped with homework, art projects, and science fair projects. She inspired creativity and curiosity. Mom was our biggest cheerleader.
When her youngest child entered first grade, Mom began working part time. She was the local Avon lady, and when we were older she took a full time job in a tool factory. She pissed off her male co-workers because she kept getting merit raises, which meant she worked her ass off and worked harder than those men; they could have earned an equal raise had they performed at her level. She didn’t do it to prove herself a better worker than the men; she needed the money to rear four children, and sacrificed parts of three fingers doing the work of men. Mom worked days; Dad worked swing shift so between the two of them there was always a parent at home. Even though Mom took a job outside the house none of her other work around our home ceased.
Somehow, they managed to make magical Christmases and birthdays. They figured out ways for us to go on vacation every summer even if it was just camping, though one magical year we got to go to Disneyland. They participated in our youth groups and encouraged us to earn our own money toward summer camp and we went every year as well. We went to the beach at least once during the summer to make sure the ocean was still there.
One teen aged year I wanted a new pair of jeans, which at the time was a whopping 4 dollars (man, the 60s feels like a long time ago). By this time, I earned an allowance for work done around the house, and I earned income from cleaning houses for her Avon customers and babysitting. Mom sat me down with Dad’s paycheck and her paycheck, and had me fill out the deposit slips. Then she laid out the bills, the ones that had to be paid in full, and the ones who would take a partial payment. I filled out the checks for the ones paid in full and she signed them. We went through the torture of figuring out how much could be sent to each partial debt (ugh, math) and still have enough money to feed, clothe, and clean a family of six. Even with her making our clothing she still paid for patterns and material, thread, and trimmings like lace and buttons. And toilet paper for six people? There was no 4 dollars left for my jeans.
You have revelations in this life and that was one of my first. Mom was responsible for all six of us. Mom never had much but she made every bit of what she had work for her. In all the math and check writing flurry there was not one thing for her in the monthly budget. At that time my money was for me and me only, and I realized I had to learn how to manage it better if I was going to have those jeans. I’m still learning.
That learning is invaluable. I am grateful for the knowledge of how to manage money, evidenced by how happy I am with my new Bosch dishwasher. Last spring I had an “extra” hundred dollars in my hand and I spotted the dishwasher on sale. I’ve watched the prices on this unit for several years, and the sale price made the purchase a “bargain.” I’ve worked with the same local appliance store for the last 25 years and they were happy to take the hundred dollars down on the dishwasher. A year later, I finally paid it down enough to have it installed.
It was quite an exciting day. I made sure the day before everything was cleaned and ready to go. I had to empty a cupboard as well as under the sink. Both needed cleaning so I was happy to have that out of the way. I had scheduled for a 3 pm installation. The plumbers called at 1:30 to see if they could come early and it was a relief to be able to say yes, which made them happy because I was the last appointment for them on a Friday. Happy plumbers equal better work in my mind. It took less than an hour; that’s the advantage of knowing what you are doing.
One of my secret pleasures is watching men work. I watched every step of the process, and I guarantee I could not do this work myself. The plumbing yoga they had to do was impressive. When they took the old unit out to the truck I got down and cleaned the 17 years of accumulated grime from underneath (thank goodness it wasn’t bad), and both of them thanked me for that. I did not think that was part of their job. We had an amusing moment when the plumber was lying on his left side with his left arm all the way back underneath the unit to pull the balance leg into place, and he said, “Go go, gadget arm” which was a reference to an old cartoon called Inspector Gadget, voiced by Don Adams of Get Smart fame, about a cyborg police officer with thousands of high tech gadgets installed in his body. I am old enough to get the reference and I spit-laughed hard enough to amuse the plumbers.
Hubs did not know about the new dishwasher. When the old one started having trouble shifting gears a few weeks ago (I knew it was coming), and you could hear it all over the house, he mentioned we might have to replace the old one. I told him I had one almost paid for and we could have it installed. I earned a compliment from him about the quality of the machine, the fantastic sale price I got it for, and the foresight to see it coming. I’ll take what I can get.
Mom taught me as well as she could. I’m a little (little?) stubborn; I like to do things my way. But I listened, believe me, I listened. I might not have used her tips immediately, but she is in my blood and as I age, I become more like her, sharing my wisdom, unsolicited or not.
I am grateful to have had a decent, caring, loving mom. She encouraged curiosity and education. To her last day she never stopped learning and sharing her knowledge. I aspire to be a lifelong learner as well.
Color Watch – colorful attractions in my neighborhoods this week –dandelions: your weeds, my salad.
Current View – {These are only my opinions about movies and books, but don’t let me stop you from trying these reviewed items yourself; your opinion may differ.} A Man in Full (2024, rated TV – MA) with Jeff Daniels. A man of power errs and is on the brink of losing everything, he fights back the only way he knows, with threats and violence. *** Bodkin (2024, rated TV – MA), a podcaster chasing a story in Ireland finds more than he bargained for.
Currently Reading – I’m in real trouble with the library. They sent me a notice. I’ve had Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt (2019, sociology) by Arthur C. Brooks far too long and since I haven’t finished it, I will have to return it and start over. No big deal. They will forgive me when I return it. At least I know where it is and don’t have to search for it.
This week I have been grateful for:
- The new dishwasher and a flawless installation.
- Receiving news that Habitat for Humanity will be replacing my windows.
- Looking forward to the work it will take to clear the areas around the windows.
- Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and hot packs.
- After cleaning that cupboard taking the more than 200 clean plastic bags over to Habitat for Humanity for re-use and keeping them out of the landfill, at least temporarily.
- Being able to switch from winter clothes to summer clothes at a moment’s notice. Oregon weather.
- Some lovely pre-summer summer-like weather.
- Dandelions. Lovely bright faces.
- Being a voyeur and watching children with their parents in the pool.
- The neighbor girl, who has “borrowed” sugar, ketchup, cooking oil, etc., over the years they’ve been next door, brought over a plate of chocolate chip cookies one evening. Ever so slightly burned on the bottom, but the best thing I’ve tasted in ages.
- Water.
Hoping you have a lovely week.
Namaste. Peace. Blessings.
Floral ribbon border by Laurel Burch