Gratitude Sunday: I Still Mind My Mind

Gratitude * Sunday

Quote of the Week
– “Do you realize nothing has worked out the way we planned it? The trick is not to mind it.” Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner

Sunday Haiku

White hairs froth around
my face like fog arising
from a morning’s pond.

Sunday Musings
My mom had a magnet on her fridge that said, “Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.” I do, I miss it. My memory is fading. I mind it.

Maybe it would be OK if I could decide what I forget. Like the bad parts, the ugly parts, the not fun of or proud of parts. No, I own it all, and it all randomly reveals and recedes like flashes in my little brain. It is the traumas, the dramas, the regrets, and the fretting that fill my mind. Where are the good times, the peaceful moments, the proud legacies? Buried so deep they cannot find their way through the muck of worry past and present?

I doubt I’m descending into senility, dementia, or Alzheimer’s yet. I’m a life long learner, and I suspect there is only so much my brain is wired to hang on to. I’ve known other people who are far beyond me and some who are far away from me as far as intelligence, memory, and retention. And there are some whose thinking is so diametrically opposed to mine I wonder what kind of education they had, if any, and where they got their ideas, whether they read the same textbooks or Bible available to me. I love the differences, and enjoy listening to all. You never know what you might learn from whom. Sometimes the “shock” of those differences gives me still more to think about, as if I needed more.

I haven’t truly lost my mind yet. I can still learn and know how to research to find the whole story. Reserving judgment is the hard part. As far as learning from others I prefer to err on the side of kindness as one never knows the story of what others might have been through. Their story might echo one’s own, or it might be so bizarre and so far from one’s own experience it may be hard to believe. We must believe each other. The truth will out, liars are almost always revealed. That’s where judgment becomes important: being able to discern liars, because their lies might be their truths. When truth is that edgy, when it’s just their truth, one must look for the real truth.

I mind that things don’t go as planned. I mind that people spin the truth for their own profit. I mind that others are gullible and not only can’t tell the difference, but swallow up lies as truth. I mind that some of us work hard to stay alive in poverty and are blamed for our own poverty in a rigged system. I mind losing my memories. I mind it. I still mind it. Perhaps when I lose it I won’t know it, so I won’t mind it. Right now at least I think I still have my mind and I still mind it.

Color Watch
colorful attractions in my neighborhoods this week –Wintry greens in shades of lichen and moss. Spring promises green spears through leafy brown shields. Fresh greenly bursts of spring leaves. Cascades of sedum color, green through sage, magenta to pink.

Current View
– {These are only my opinions about movies and books, but don’t let me stop you from trying these reviewed items yourself; your opinion may differ.} The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1992, rated PG – 13), from the 1977 play written by Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner, and performed by Lily Tomlin. Lily plays several diverse characters, who are all connected, through the eyes of a bag lady and her alien friends. I fear trump may have seen the play or the movie many years ago and internalized a few things from the script like when one character says “Make America great again” and another one says “The truth can be made up if you know how.” Just guessing. Beyond that, this movie is classic Tomlin performance, though I’d love to know who wrote which lines between her and Wagner. Recommended. * I’m shamelessly hooked on my newest guilty pleasure, Showtime’s Shameless (2011 – currently in its 9th season, rated TV – MA) about six siblings on the south side of Chicago who are raising themselves because of the drug dependency, mental health issues, and incompetence of their parents. A realistic, yet humorous (Murphy’s Law) foray into the lives of poverty and the creativity that arises to make ends meet when jobs cannot be had nor kept while keeping the Child Protective Services at bay. Shamelessly about sex, drug use, illegal deeds, and any other outrageous behavior the writers can think of, yet it echoes the lives of many people in today’s America. * Root Cause (2019, rated TV – 14), a documentary about the fallacy of the healthfulness of root canals. It’s interesting to me to finally see this information in visual documentation form, as it echoes my research into health over the last 20 years when I was poisoned by a dentist who promoted not only neuro-toxic silver mercury amalgam fillings but insisted some of my broken teeth needed root canals before capping even though there was no pain, no infection, and no need. Part of the problem is doctors and dentists are at odds when it comes to teeth being part of the body. I know that sounds odd but both professions act like teeth are not part of the bio-system. I hope we can effect a medical paradigm change if we are able to make Universal Health Care a reality for Americans and have dentists and doctors work together toward our better health.

Currently ReadingFrench Exit (2018, fiction) by Patrick DeWitt, and as the title hints there is a death. More than one. One is purposeful, and *trigger warning*, is a suicide, though mercifully brief and elegantly written. Even so, I would recommend this novel as a summer read, not fluffy, but just deep enough to get your toes wet. * Too Fat, Too Slutty, Too Loud: The Rise and Reign of the Unruly Woman (2017, sociology) by Anne Helen Petersen. Essays exploring and exploding cultural expectations of women.

This week I have been grateful for:

  • Recovering from a head cold without the pressure of a work schedule hanging over me.
  • This particular head cold virus was not as bad as some in the past and surmising perhaps the lightened stress of not having the pressure of an outside work schedule made recovery easier and faster.
  • The luxury of being able to take care of my illness in my own home.
  • Seeing an ex-workmate at a local grocery store when I went out for sick food and having a short chat so I didn’t expose her even though I was on the upside.
  • Some get-well cheer arriving in the mail. Remember mail with hand written stuff and stamps? I still love it.
  • The patient library workers at my local lending library when I had a time crisis resulting in the mismanagement of my personal hold requests. Not one of them complained for the extra work I caused them.
  • For all my intentions to get so much done, that I get something done and not just nothing done.
  • All that intended something merely equating abundance.
  • Changing the goal while recovering from this head cold virus to getting one thing done a day.
  • Being able to taste strawberries again.
  • Water.

Hoping you have a lovely week.

Namaste. Peace. Blessings.

Floral ribbon border by Laurel Burch

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2 Responses to Gratitude Sunday: I Still Mind My Mind

  1. Tee says:

    My therapist once told me the difference between normal age related memory loss and Alzheimer’s:
    Normal age related memory loss – “I forgot my car keys in the house”
    Alzheimer’s – “I forgot what these objects (keys) are for”

    I’m grateful for:
    My knee getting better after months – sounds silly but I believe it’s the earthing/grounding I started doing.
    Hubby’s patience. Does perimenopause ever end? I’m almost 55 for god’s sake.
    Not being affected by the government shut-down


    • sassy kas says:

      I’m that mean girl when my guys are misbehaving I ask them who they are, as if I don’t know them. I should probably stop that. lol. The menopause thing? No, sweetheart, hormones are forever. Just when you think you’ve gotten used to one stage, they change. My MIL had hot flashes well into her 80s while I was having them in my 30s. We both thought we shouldn’t have them and decided our bodies knew differently than “norms” or “averages”. (Gounding! Love feet on the earth or in the sand! Who knows? It might help with hormones too!) My choices include no estrogen therapy, lots of water, healthful foods, as much exercise as I can fit in, sun exposure when it’s available, and separate bedding/beds. It’s about what works for you.


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