Gratitude Sunday: Addlepated? Get Moving!

Gratitude * Sunday
Sunday’s heartfelt tradition.
A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.
A list of gratitudes, our gratefulness feeds one another.
Quoted from Taryn Wilson
Joining the Gratitude Sunday Tradition at Wooly Moss Roots.

Sunday Haiku
Yellow red orange
green leaf storm color breezed air
fly on hard raindrops.

Sunday Musings
Do you ever feel out of balance? Off kilter? Unsettled? Discombobulated? Addlepated? In need of re-alignment? Out of tune with the vibrations of the earth? Do you struggle with keeping a good attitude while day to day events come spinning at you faster than a hurricane? Even on uneventful days?

When I was working I often felt like I couldn’t keep up with everyday stuff, like paying the rent and the bills; how to be frugal; how to get groceries and cleaning supplies into the house on a regular basis and how to put food on the table every day; how to get me to work and the kids to school and to scouts and games and other events on time more often than not; how to buy a house or a car or a mortgage or choose health insurance; how to clean and launder and paint and make Halloween outfits and handle holidays; how to negotiate for home maintenance or a raise; how to keep the car running and the appliances in good shape; how to get the kids to pick up their rooms, to contribute to the family by learning chores around the house, how to teach them to be good citizens and brush their darn teeth (brush your teeth, brush your teeth, the son will take this echo to his grave); how to get a better job or earn another degree on top of everything else; how to find the time to contribute back to your community because that’s what you believe in; how to sleep, or have a few minutes with friends or even quiet time by yourself. Just a little stress, a small amount of stress. True, I was the breadwinner for a physically challenged hubster, and raising a son, with all the parent involvement it takes to produce a contributing citizen for the society we live in, but almost everybody does that. Do we all feel so much stress? Is everybody running around with only the thinnest of threads keeping us tied to this earth? I hope it is easier and less stressful for most people than it has been for me; some of us are more highly sensitive.

Semi-retirement hasn’t been much less stressful. I suspect the stress is related to the lack of financial security, wanting to know I can safely retire and die in my own home, while maintaining the house so it does not crumble around me. It’s tempting to say when I die just lay me out on my bed and burn the whole mess around me. Make a bigger mess.

I worked many years toward a secure retirement. I worked many years not knowing how to save my pitiful income, and many years when the income left me between homes or meals, let alone able to save. When I figured out how to save I did so as aggressively as I could while supporting my family. I did indeed inherit money from my parents when they died, but the IRS counted it as zero income, so you see it wasn’t much, though I appreciated what it did for me at the time. I like paying my bills. It just has never been enough, no cushion, like always walking on worn-out soles.

Don’t think, oh, poor her (or worse: jeesh, she’s always complaining). I am not in need of sympathy or judgement, though empathy is entirely appropriate. I have abundance, not the complete abundance I think would provide me peace of mind regarding my security, but I have a wealth no one can take from me and I am grateful for it.

My abundance includes a thinking mind. The thinking may be discombobulated at times. My mind may even enjoy moments of addlepation. Sooner or later the fog clears and clarity is revealed. I hope to keep my wit until my dying day, like my mom did, but I know it’s fading. I have the wit to recognize what happens to me happens to other people, and I have the wit to say. I may be cash poor but I am intellectually wealthy. I have billions and billions of words (hear that Carl Sagan echo?) at my beck and call.

I’m not as clever as some of the authors I admire who soar cloud-high above my levels. It’s OK. Everybody is different. I learn from those who know more and from those who know less. Each person has a story and each person’s story counts.

The struggle may always be constant. If we remember that change is the only constant we begin to get a handle on the enormity of day to day living. I feel constantly out of balance. I merely want to feel good about it all. Or a bit better at least.

Most of my adult life I’ve suffered ill health, physical ill health. I think it’s hard to have superb mental health if you are constantly in pain; body and brain are forever intimately tied together. Most of my adult life I’ve been seeking better health. I didn’t have treatment for one issue because of the expense; doctors didn’t offer it because they knew I couldn’t afford it. I’ve now had the treatment, but only after permanent damage was done. Knowing that particular limitation does not stop me in my quest for greater well-being. I may not be as physically able as I once was, but there are things I am able to do. If you suffer any challenges or stress in your life you might try a few well-being tricks, maybe make what works into habits. Since everybody is delightfully different, it’s good to keep trying new things until you find what works for you.

I no longer move on this earth like I did when I was 5, or 15, or 25. I’ve always had weird ankles that turn under when I walk or run, who knows where that comes from. I fell in high school and sprained an ankle, and then again years later in my 30s I fell again, spraining both ankles at the same time. Just lucky ankle-wise, I guess. When I am in the water, I can move. I may not move like Esther Williams (dating myself, here), but I feel like a gracefully fluid ballerina when I am in the pool. Like a manatee, I feel I am in my element. I can stretch and balance on one leg and run in the water. I can’t swim, which is the humorous part; I can’t coordinate the arm strokes and the leg kicking and the breathing into one fluid movement, but I can move, and if I fall or lose my balance little damage can be done. It feels so good to move with the water holding you. If you have body pain, try water. Even if you just sit in a hot tub and let the warm water embrace you. Try water.

I used to do yoga. I won’t detail why I can’t do yoga anymore, it makes me sad; it felt so much like a loss to me. I had stopped for several years and when I wanted to start again the body said no. Pain and balance issues popped up. I discovered qigong and tai chi. I am still at the lowest beginner’s level, but no matter. The learning about well-being is what matters; I have so much learning to look forward to. My beginning exercises are simple movements, designed to help with balance and body awareness, working subtly on the natural energy meridians in our nervous systems, and they put my body into a re-alignment with the earth. As children we knew instinctively how to make these movements, and we did it without thought or design. Our bodies naturally and organically moved that way and we enjoyed every minute because we could move without thinking. Now I think about every movement and enjoy the exercises because I can move within them, mostly without pain. It keeps me moving.

One of the disconnects we face in this modern world is our connection to nature. Some of us get hardly any outdoor time at all. I doubt walking from house to car or car to work or car to store counts for much quality nature time. You don’t have to go camping every weekend to get close to nature, but if that’s your schtick and you are able, enjoy, and be kind to the earth wherever you go.

For now you can step outside your door. Take a deep breath. Put your hands on the small of your back and arch back. Raise your arms above your head and open them to the sky. Simple. Breathe. Outside. Take your shoes and socks off; kick those flip flops to the side. Dig your toes into the grass or the dirt or the sand. Feel the energy of the earth your soles stand on. Absorb that energy. Be that energy. Connect to that energy. Easy as a, b, c. Outside. Nature. Air. Sometimes water.

The body is built for movement; walking is at the core. The body carries the brain around and the brain enables the body to do many things, from dancing to extreme sports, from moving gently to marathoning. You might try ballroom dancing, belly dancing, or square dancing. Do the Twist like you were 16. Learn all the steps to Michael Jackson’s Thriller. You could try hot yoga, hatha yoga, or qigong. Memorize a routine so well you could teach it to someone else. You might walk or swim or schedule assisted walker races in the hallways of your shared residence. You might boogie dance in your chair. You might walk naked in the rain. It’s all good.

Moving into older age the importance of movement cannot be over-emphasized. Doesn’t matter what kind of movement. Move and you might find the brain stressors smooth out and the combobulation un-disses. You might realize your realignment with the earth and reconfirm your self-worth or reconnect with your intellect. Or maybe feel a bit better about it.

Color Watch – colorful attractions in my neighborhoods this week – 3rd week of October is statistically the most colorful week of autumn. Mister Kitty aka George Murphy enjoys the leaves. I captured some yellow light. Cascades of yellow and green grape bush. Shaded branches, green to yellow to orange. Yellow and green scattered on the green. Yellow leaf textured carpet in the corner.

Current View – {These are only my opinions about movies and books, but don’t let me stop you from trying these reviewed items yourself; your opinion may differ.} The Limits of Control (2009, rated R), a bizarre story about a lone man set upon a criminal act which you don’t realize until the end, but the intrigue of how he gets there is about as twisted as I’ve ever seen, rather like watching a nightmare where every time you go back to sleep you keep going back into the nightmare, with repeated bits. I’m not sure I got it. This may be one of those “art” movies you have to watch a dozen times to get all the innuendo. Not again soon, for me anyway. * Beatriz at Dinner (2017, rated R) with Salma Hayek. I’m not sure what I expected from this movie of a working-class woman healer who through a fluke of circumstance, ends up invited for dinner at the home of wealthy developers, and the discrepancy between the two classes. In my heart I wanted the emotion and struggle of the poor to prevail and teach the wealthy class something. Of course, this movie didn’t work like that any more than life does. Disturbing, but no spoilers, as I think this is likely one of those significant movies one must see for oneself to appreciate. The ending is disturbing, so prepare thyself. * Se7en (1995, rated R) with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman. I had read this was a horror film, and for whatever reason I thought it was a ripper/gore buster, so I hadn’t viewed it before. I was looking through a list of psychological thriller movies and it was listed so I thought what the heck. I can always turn it off. Basically a murder mystery, a detective ready for retirement gets assigned to a bizarre case with a new transfer. They bump heads, then find a way to work together. There is gore, there is creepiness, there are twists and turns, and there is Kevin Spacey as the wacko, and it is rare to find a better wacko than Kevin. There is the gut wrenching ending. Whew. Nary a vampire nor werewolf in sight. * The Sense of an Ending (2017, rated Pg – 13), thought I had a coming of age movie and did in one sense. After a heartbreak and perceived betrayal a young man writes a cruel letter, and only finds out 40 years later when the letter is returned to him the magnitude of the cruelty. Sticks and stones are one thing but words can hurt as well, and we carry those scars as easily as the physical ones. Sensitive material well and uniquely handled. * Under Suspicion (2000, rated R) with Morgan Freeman and Gene Hackman, takes place in Puerto Rico, though not much scenery. A lawyer is accused, evidence comes and goes but no charge forthcoming, jealousy and loneliness and perversion are revealed, the plot twists and twists again, lies flow as freely as beer at an Octoberfest. * Sleuth (2007, rated R) with Michael Caine and Jude Law, a psychological game with a fatal twist at the end.

Currently Reading Green Witch (2010, young adult fiction) by Alice Hoffman, opens with an entire city burnt to the ground by rebels. With the recent California fires, I’m hearing strong echoes. Smile at Fear: Awakening the True Heart of Bravery (2009, Buddhism) by Chogram Trungpa. Going through fear, fearlessness, and doubt.

Quote of the Week – “Be like water.” Bruce Lee

This week I have been grateful for:

  • A friend who took me out to dinner. Love the time to talk.
  • Going out to breakfast with the hubster.
  • Getting to talk with a long-time friend from grade school, hearing her comforting voice, and spending two hours reminiscing and fixing the world.
  • The son gifting me a salt crystal lamp. Always in search of wellness and well-being.
  • The son also gifting me a box of chocolates. Chocolate being required for well-being.
  • Birthday greetings from so many kind people.
  • Marking off a couple things on my to-do list.
  • The weather giving us a sun break for the high school homecoming parade. The parade route goes by my house less than a block away, so I do my part and walk over to cheer them on.
  • Looking forward to spending time with my sister next week.
  • Finding my car key after a temporary loss. I am a creature of routine and rarely lose things because I put them back in the same place. Not this time. But ’tis found and no major crisis.
  • Cashing in enough bottles to get my new (to me) Kwan Yen out of lay-away at the local antique store. She’s finally mine and I had to clean a lovely spot for her to live. She might move soon. Or not.
  • A box of juicy brown turkey figs.
  • Farmers market had a few more boxes of strawberries. Last market next week, but the group who organizes the local market puts on 2 markets each in November and December. What luxury to have fresh hand picked Oregon strawberries in your fridge in October.
  • Water.

Hoping you have a lovely week.

Namaste. Peace. Blessings.

Floral ribbon border by Laurel Burch

This entry was posted in abundance, Aging, Education, Entertainment, Exercise, GRATITUDE, Grief, Health, Photography, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Gratitude Sunday: Addlepated? Get Moving!

  1. piratesorka says: wrote so much! I so admire your ability to process so many topics in a good flow of thought , I would have melted into a pile of ooze if I tried it. I never truly loved writing as much as I do speaking. You mange to say sooo much more by writing than I do with speaking. Different gifts, different approaches. I am delighted that you got the Kwan Yen. I THINK I saw it with you when we went into that shop together am I right? I envy you your Farmers market, mine is already closed but even it if was open I would be struggling to walk about so much. Truly annoying my inability to drag this body about these days… OHHH OH OHHHHHHHH, I got some great news or at least I hope its great news… Kaiser APPROVED my going to a non-Kaiser health clinic for ACUPUNCTURE!!!! Oh I am thrilled and delighted. I have had acupuncture before but it was always on my own and its spendy, dang it all! I will let you know how this new adventure is. they sent me this HUGE list of names and places, I’ve reduced it to only people in the Gresham area.
    Well, it is now 4:53 am and I have managed to get ZERO sleep, ugh. I have to go to Kaiser’s Sleep Clinic this week and have them check my sleep apnea machine AND my sleep patterns. They will not be happy with me…. ahhh well. Big hugs my dear, it was great talking with you on your birthday. I just wish I had the $$, time and energy to come out to Forest Grove but OH well, what can ya do eh? Love you ooodles!


    • sassy kas says:

      Yes, she is the Kwan Yen you saw when we spent that lovely day together in July. A sweet reminder or our time spent together. I got the little pocket Buddha as well. Good thing cans and bottles are a dime now, helped me pay for them faster. As if I needed more stuff! I hope the cohesiveness of my random writing is helping my brain stay in shape. Good to hear about the acupuncture approval. You’ll have to keep me up to date with the progress. xoxo


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