Gratitude Sunday: Whirligig Of Time

Gratitude * Sunday
Sunday’s heartfelt tradition.
A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.
A list of gratitudes, our gratefulness feeds one another.
Quoted from Taryn Wilson
Joining the Gratitude Sunday Tradition at Wooly Moss Roots.

Sunday Haiku
Sun blinks through curtain,
wakes me early, refreshes
with fresh morning air.

Sunday Musings
Time is such an elusive concept. We measure it in different increments with definite names and quantities: minutes, hours, days, months, years; and we measure it in indefinite quantities as well: “moments in time”, “that time when”, “do you remember?”, “maybe next time”, then, when, now, never, soon, later. Time passes whether we measure it or not. Sometimes it stretches out in front of us and other times it is gone too fast.

We make appointments or schedule events weeks or months away and glory in how much time we have before it happens. Then suddenly the time is upon us and the event or appointment is now merely a memory. A vacation is planned, long awaited, then the departure is nigh and the vacation over before we have time to enjoy it. We visualize futures that may never happen and we spend time thinking about that future time. We can do nothing to change the past, yet the past repeats itself in our brain cells and muscle memory. That time is with us forever, which is a very long time.

We are clever animals, us humans who invented measuring time. We can make a mess of things in a relatively short time, and take a long time to fix the mess. Personally, the few minutes spent with a stranger while she purposely and malevolently shared her disease has taken me more than 40 years to fix, but I embark on that journey with a new 12 week course of treatment. The time was finally right with the advent of new medicines, different health insurance, and finding some medical support. Something I have carried with me all that time, nearly all my adult life, might no longer be a part of me soon. Time will tell how well we can fix this long time mess.

Fear can waste time. I received a stand-alone 3.5 inch floppy disc drive for Christmas. We had recycled all our old computers and I found myself with no way to retrieve writing from 20 years ago. The drive arrived and more than 6 months time elapsed before I gathered enough courage to plug it into my laptop and retrieve the files. I didn’t want to ask for help. I figured since it didn’t come with instructions (plus I need to know how my own equipment works) it should be pretty straightforward, but it took me all that time to face my fear and move forward. In the end it was less than a 15 minute improvement of the learning curve; it wasn’t hard after all, though I did have to employ one of my favorite brain games called logic; the techno-ditz prevailed in self-learning. Silly unfounded fear.

It’s hard enough on an individual basis just keeping oneself together to learn new things, to get to work, to cook and eat, and parent, and run a household, and pay bills, and have any energy left over to relax. But to organize a group to effect change, wow, there are so many of us now it’s hard to coordinate so everybody’s on the same page at the same time even with social media and calling trees. And there’s so much information who has the time to read or view it all?

Yes, time is the culprit. Either you have it or you don’t. Really we have all the time in the world. I wake up in the morning and I have all the time in the day to get my list done. If I don’t get through the list today, I get to it tomorrow, or the day after, or a fortnight from now. The list never goes away; it shrinks and grows according to the second law of thermodynamics. It doesn’t matter what time most of the stuff on my list gets done, whether it’s work I do for gainful employment or work I do for myself. Time can have such a lovely liquidly amorphous quality to it. It all gets done when it gets done.

I often surprise myself when most Thursdays roll around I haven’t yet written one word for this week’s Sunday post. How did that happen? Where did last week go? What did I do with that time? Maybe it doesn’t matter what I did or didn’t do. Maybe what matters is that I was. I was. I am. With every breath I take I still am. We’ll see about the next breath, and the next, and tomorrow’s as well. But then that will be a new day in time.

Color Watchcolorful attractions in my neighborhoods this week – Lacy soft blue hydrangea. Many shades of hydrangea: pinks, blues, purples. Combination of bright colors at a nearby home. A river of trailing pink petunias.

Current View – {These are only my opinions about movies and books, but don’t let me stop you from trying these reviewed items yourself; your opinion may differ.} Finished the first season of Ballers (2016, rated TV – MA), an HBO TV series with Dwayne Johnson as a retired football player turned financial adviser. Finally got interesting plot-wise about the last three episodes of the season. Let me clarify from last week: the excess and waste of sex, drugs, money, and not much actual football. That’s OK; I’m not that into football, but then, hwell, Dwayne Johnson. * Doctor Strange (2016, rated PG – 13) with Benedict Cumberbatch as a neurosurgeon who injures his hands and seeks healing, but finds something different in his search. The special effects were particularly innovative, and if buildings and atmospheres ever move like that for me in any of my real lives I’ll likely lose the contents of my stomach. * Denial (2017, rated PG – 13), a Holocaust denier brings a libel suit against a Holocaust scholar. Spoiler alert: based on a true story, the scholar and her legal team prevail. Well crafted movie portrayal and worth the time to watch the legal arguments and historical fact discoveries.

Currently ReadingHot Season (2016, fiction) by Susan Defreitas. I’m not connecting well with this book. The sentence fragments are colorful; the whole sentences are well-crafted. Somehow the plot disjoints me. It might not be the author, or the questionable editing; perhaps it’s just my read. Maybe the conclusion will change my mind, but right now I’m still rather confused about the story. Aaand… the conclusion was not helpful; somebody told Ms Defreitas to be specific, and she was, excellently so, except, for me, she lost the story while doing so. This novel came highly recommended so I was disappointed. And again perhaps it was just me. * Dark Money: The Hidden History of the Billionaires Behind the Rise of the Radical Right (2016, radical politics), by Jane Mayer. Will it never end? Give me strength to endure the nefarious antics and absurd abuse of money by the outrageously wealthy in the name of increasing their own profit and buying/controlling the politics of the world.

This week I have been grateful for:

  • Being approved for a new course of expensive medicine by my health insurance.
  • Being scheduled for a zero co-pay for that expensive medicine through my health insurance.
  • Receiving and beginning the new course of medicine.
  • The phone calls from the doctor’s office, the pharmacy, and the insurance company to help me with questions about the new medicine.
  • Feeling a little overwhelmed at all the attention.
  • And so grateful they think I’m worth it.
  • My local lending library and the vast amount of information and entertainment I get for the investment of a few tax dollars every year.
  • My aquatic center being mere blocks away.
  • Being allowed to exercise during pre-school swim lessons and watching the kiddos learn is such a joy.
  • The hubster not breaking any bones during a recent fall.
  • The techno-ditz prevailing again, thanks to determination and the learning curve (or perhaps stubbornness and perversity).
  • Oregon Star seedless tomatoes.
  • Firm sweet Oregon Albion strawberries.
  • A half pint of black Marionberries, sweet not tart this year.
  • Water.

Hoping you have a lovely week.

Namaste. Peace. Blessings.

Floral ribbon border by Laurel Burch

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