Gratitude * Sunday
Sunday’s heartfelt tradition.
A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.
A list of gratitudes, our gratefulness feeds one another.
Quoted from Taryn Wilson
Joining the Gratitude Sunday Tradition at Wooly Moss Roots.
Sweet white narcissus
send your fragrance to soothe my
troubled aching soul.
Happy Easter! Whether you celebrate this Christian holiday or not, this time of year is ripe with new beginnings.
Spring brings us new growth. Flowers and trees are blooming. Farm animals, wild birds, and city critters like possums, raccoons, and squirrels are producing babies. As soon as you put the lawn mower away the grass is in need of cutting again. Between mowing and gardening who needs more exercise?
My “garden” is reduced to a few small pots outside my door. Over the years I’ve made several attempts at gardens, and they usually fail, but I enjoy whatever greens and produce I’m able to raise and supplement with trips to the farmer’s market. My guys (who are home most of the day) ignore my requests for them to water while I am away at work, so I have lost almost all my plants to dehydration. They killed my rhubarb, which is nearly indestructible. I have no problems at all with other people in my community raising my fresh local food and me putting money in their pockets rather than supporting Big Commercial Agriculture with the specter of GMOs and poisoned with pesticides. Seems like a win-win to me.
I’d love to be one of those spry old women who garden until they are 95, but it is not to be for me. I try to remember I have other valuable skills though at the moment I can’t even recall what those are to share them with you. Such is the way of trauma. It interferes with the ability to think or concentrate in any kind of a cohesive logical manner.
It’s ok. I’m ok. I’ve survived so much other crap in life, I will survive this as well. Days will pass, things will change, a new beginning will take place, and I will be on with my life in an entirely different manner. I just don’t know what it is right this very now. Perhaps that is what is hardest, the not knowing, the waiting. As Arthur Golden says in Memoirs of a Geisha it is some people’s destiny to struggle every day.
Since the retirement numbers don’t crunch out to being livable income, of course I’m not sitting on my sweet patootie just waiting. I’m doing all kinds of researching, applying for work I don’t know if I can do, talking to people to see what is out there, considering industries I’ve not been involved with previously. I don’t qualify as disabled yet, but approaching all this with physical limitations is interesting, not at all like remaking myself when I was in my 40s and more physically able. I don’t believe for a minute in “Equal Opportunity Employment”. When they see you walk in with a cane, you are less likely to get the job.
Let me state for the record, if I were Queen of Everything, I would require citizens of this United States of America to retire at age 55 with a livable retirement package, leaving jobs open for younger workers starting families and in need of buying homes. Yes, it would require a restructuring and re-educating of our society (like how to have your own retirement savings in addition to Social Security), but it could be done in a way that benefits all Americans. Call that socialism all you want, but to see so many of our elders reduced to flipping burgers at McDonalds or pumping gas or living in poverty when they should be enjoying their golden years hurts my soul. I see it as people taking care of each other. And what are we if we don’t take care of each other? As a society, as a community, we are only as good as the least of us.
This Easter look about you. Be aware and grateful for other people in all our divine differences. Be grateful for the family and friends around you as so many of us live in isolation. Be grateful for gainful employment, whether you sell yourself for wages or create your own work. Be grateful for clean air and water, that we haven’t polluted ourselves out of existence yet. Be grateful for time as it passes minute by minute, that you are breathing and seeing and thinking, and able to reach out to help other people with the gift of you.
Color Watch – colorful attractions in my neighborhoods this week – Rare and unusual plaid shirt blossoms. Pretty creamy white narcissus, with a delicate orange center. Gray boulder and green tufted moss. Tulip week: peachy pink. Lovely row of purple tulips ready to burst open.
Current View – Watched a few episodes of Daredevil (2015, not rated) another of those Marvel comic TV series, about a blind man who seeks justice through vigilante action. I had to set this aside because of so much violence, not a good time for me to watch this. * I switched to Gotham (2014, not rated) a DC comic TV series, with less visual and more implied violence, and more subtle humor. Gotham is about the young boy Bruce Wayne, who watched his parents killed before his eyes, and his coming of age after this traumatic experience. A different point of view on the Batman story, I find the story line of the youthful Bruce Wayne fascinating, despite the violence. And grateful not to have such physical violence in my own life. * An Awfully Big Adventure (1995, rated R), starring Alan Rickman and Hugh Grant, listed as a comedy, but I don’t know in whose world this drama is a comedy. A young girl in 1947 Liverpool becomes involved in local theater, who after several demeaning scenes, loses her virginity to the man who is her father (Rickman), unbeknownst to either of them. A thoroughly disheartening movie, not redeemed by the quality of Rickman’s performance. Meh.
Currently Reading – The Wedding Bees (2013, fiction) by Sarah-Kate Lynch. Ms Lynch is a New Zealand author and I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve read of hers. She creates quirky characters, interesting plot twists, cohesive stories you can hardly put down, and happy endings. The Autistic Brain: Thinking Across the Spectrum (2014, psychology and neurobiology) by Temple Grandin and Richard Panek. Ms Grandin writes science in such a fascinating way, so easy for me to understand the way she says it. Yes, concurrently.
This week I have been grateful for:
- The hubster finally having the car worked on after driving with the check engine light on since Thanksgiving.
- Professional auto mechanics. The problem wasn’t what we thought, but something else entirely.
- Warmer days and nights, turning down the heaters, and opening doors and windows. We didn’t have much freezing weather this winter so we will have lots of bugs this year. Already shows with the ant invasions.
- Dry enough days to mow the grass. Between the rain and the sun you can hear it grow.
- Not being allergic and the lovely fragrance of freshly mowed grass.
- The Easter Bunny putting in a brief appearance with small candy jars. Because of the ants I, aka Easter Bunny, used small decorative jelly jars with tightly sealing lids rather than open baskets so we can eat the candy before the ants do. They turned out kind of cute decorated with a bit of ribbon around the lid.
- Sunlight streaming in through the windows showing every speck of dust, dirt, and cobweb needing cleaning. It’s about the light not the needed cleaning.
- My little walks around the neighborhood. Fresh air, neighbors’ flowering yards.
- Filling the hours of the day.
- Experimenting with the soothing scents of essential oils in my little wax melt warmer.
- Listening to the birds in my yard sounding so happy, who knows what they are really tweeting about.
- The pea salad I made with shredded Cheddar because it was what I had turning out so tasty.
- Remembering to buy just a few slices of ham instead of the half ham which usually ended up not being eaten in time. Less waste is what I like.
Hoping you have a lovely week.
Namaste. Peace. Blessings.
Floral ribbon border by Laurel Burch
Floral paragraph dividers by Susan Branch
Queen of Everything by Mary Engelbreit