Gratitude * Sunday
Sunday’s heartfelt tradition.
A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.
A list of gratitudes, our gratefulness feeds one another.
Quoted from Taryn Wilson
Joining the Gratitude Sunday Tradition at Wooly Moss Roots.
A word floats in air
raining on forward progress
waiting to flower.
Are you irritable? Cranky? Irregular?
I don’t mean constipated.
Do you know someone who is generally a nice person, basically kind, who occasionally says something that is hurtful and you wonder where it came from? Do you monitor every utterance that comes out of your mouth weighing everything as to how others may respond? Do you speak your mind and to hell with what other people think about you? Do you ever hear something come out of your mouth and the minute it does you wish you had slammed it shut before that word or sentence came out? How about the person who tries so hard to do the right thing, the kind thing, and somehow always seems to make a mess of things? Do you ever wish you could rewind the last few moments so you could suck words back in as if they never drew breath out in the air?
What if that person is you?
Do you become absolutely silent, afraid to trust your mouth about anything? Do you read everything you can to improve your conversational skills? Do you guard every word? Do you agonize, beating yourself up because of what you said? Do you learn to mistrust how others will interpret or twist what you say? Do you only listen when others are sharing stories for fear you will mis-speak if you share too, and if you do share somehow the story comes out wrong and embarrassing anyway? Do you give up and just say whatever comes to mind with no regard for a sensitivity filter so you don’t hurt people’s feelings with your words? Do you compare yourself to people who never seem to say the wrong thing and wonder how they do it? Do you solicit help from outside resources, not friends or family or co-workers because they are the ones who have heard you, but from counselors or therapists or life coaches or spiritual advisers?
Does that help? What if nothing seems to help you improve and know how to say the right thing at the right time, and not say wrong, embarrassing, or hurtful things?
Have you alienated friends or family with poorly phrased, hastily made, or even unfounded statements? Have you found yourself apologizing repeatedly for what you say, though it’s never for the same thing twice as your crazy brain keeps finding different crap to spit out? Are you contrite when unfortunate choices escape your lips? Do you find apologies do little to repair verbal errors?
Do you think people are too sensitive? Are you highly sensitive? Do you wonder if you are even fit to live in this world with other people since you cannot seem to be able to communicate effectively in a way that fits both your sensitivity and theirs? Do you sometimes mistake their meaning as well?
Have you tried yoga, meditation, Reiki, breathwork, mindfulness, tapping or emotional freedom techniques, inner focus, daily aspirations, prayer, rituals, silence, or any or all of this list as a means or method to help you say the right things or not say the wrong thing? Have you counted on growing older or maturity as a remedy? Has everything failed?
Everybody makes mistakes. We don’t always get to know the mistakes other people make, but we live with our own. A mistake is a mistake. A word or sentence said in haste or frustration can destroy years of work to build a relationship, even when carefully constructed. It can’t be undone. And there are both truth and lies in words. One can only live with what was and move forward, seeking improvement with every step and every word. You can remember your frustrations and intentions and perhaps keep in mind Mitch Albom’s words, “Just because something is silent doesn’t mean you aren’t hearing it.” One foot in front of the other, one carefully placed word after another.
Color Watch – colorful attractions in my neighborhoods this week – the swelling green of the lilac; a frilly forest of green mosses and gray lichens with brown tree flowers; waiting for the sunny yellow faces of dandelions.
Current View – A Promise (2013, rated R), set in England from 1912 to 1918, with Alan Rickman, Richard Madden, and Rebecca Hall, this is a sweet romance that goes unrequited for 6 years, even after the old husband dies. Worth your time. One episode of The Pallisers (1974, not rated), a BBC TV series from the novel by Anthony Trollope. Meh, didn’t grab me this time, maybe another. Bessie (2015, rated R) an HBO TV biopic about legendary American blues singer Bessie Smith with Queen Latifah in the starring role. The challenges of women in American music. Pixels (2015, rated PG-13) with Adam Sandler and Kevin James about some aging video gamers who save the world from an alien invasion attempting to destroy the world through fragmenting pixelation. Lots of humor and fun and the “good guys” win.
Currently Reading – The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto (2015, fiction) by Mitch Albom. I am excited to read this as it was a Christmas present from my sister. I have liked all the Mitch Albom stories I’ve read in the past. He has a tendency to proselytize a bit, but he doesn’t hit you over the head with it or smear it in your face. He uses his fiction well, in that one can a.) easily ignore the underlying Christian “message”, or b.) enjoy the underlying Christian “message”. It’s interestingly different so far, using Music as a main character narrator. Brian Jones: The Making of The Rolling Stones (2014, biography) by Paul Trynka. I am back to this one. I keep finding more interesting titles and because this one is a bit dry, factual, and largely about the sex life and drug use (in a boringly reported way) I put it aside for the other titles. I’ll finish it one day. And there is a place in fiction and non-fiction for sex and drug use, I’m just picky about how I want to read it or read about it. Finished The Rapture of Canaan (1996, fiction) by Sheri Reynolds. The fundamentalist religious element may be off-putting to some, but the story is worth it. Finished Naked in the Woods: My Unexpected Years in a Hippie Commune (2015, memoir) by Margaret Grundstein. Meh. Yes, concurrently.
This week I have been grateful for:
- The picture of my mother, my grandmother, and my aunt that my sister gave me for Christmas which I added to my “mom altar”.
- The growth that occurs during tough times.
- My crazy imagination.
- Dinner out with a friend.
- A counselor who had time to speak with me when I needed it NOW.
- My sweet little great-niece who turns four years old today and her lovely mother and her lovely mother.
- Being a member of a labor union and the support and advice I receive.
- My vehicle once more getting me through my weekly shopping tour, a 20 mile round trip, and the check engine light has been on since just after Thanksgiving. Still trying to resolve the issues.
- Finally getting my new essential oil diffuser (a Christmas present) set up and running. (I had to clean a space). Ah, lavender.
- My gal pal who has been on baby watch, whose first great-grand child has been safe delivered, mother and child are well, after a bit of a fright with the cord wrapped around his neck and arm. Now that she is an elder and travel more challenging (she’ll never admit it), I hope the new young family can bring baby to present to her when they are ready to take baby out into the world, rather than her having to travel to see them.
- Wallowing in the mess of my home and life, knowing it is all mine.
Hoping you have a lovely week.
Namaste. Peace. Blessings.
Floral ribbon border by Laurel Burch