Gratitude * Sunday
Sunday’s heartfelt tradition.
A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.
A list of gratitudes, our gratefulness feeds one another.
Quoted from Taryn Wilson
Joining the Gratitude Sunday Tradition at Wooly Moss Roots.
Hot September wind
summer still snuggles wild earth
before cold’s blanket.
Beware memes and platitudes. If you use Facebook or other social media you are subjected to many of these every day. Be careful what you believe.
Good thought. Hard to follow the thought through.
It’s true I am the person who should believe in myself and give myself value, and in theory if I value myself others should also. But if a person has been poorly treated by others, abused, victimized, or marginalized, that personal belief may change or fluctuate, no matter how strong the spirit of the person. This is true of any individual who has an opinion of you as well.
Do the opinions about you from your employer or co-workers matter? If you want to keep your job, then yes. If you don’t care about your job, then no.
Do the opinions about you from your family matter? If you want to stay married, yes. If you want them to enjoy being around you, then yes.
Do the opinions about you from your friends matter? If you want to spend time with them, then yes. If you don’t care to spend time with them, then not so much.
Do the opinions about you from health care professionals matter? If you want service from them, yes. If you don’t care about medical assistance, then no.
Their opinions about you might be none of your business, but how you interact, how you are treated, and how you treat others are all about what we think about each other.
And how does it become twisted up when the any of the persons are mentally unhealthy? That person could be any member of society, a friend, an employee, a boss, a co-worker, a family member, a stranger who serves you over the counter, a stranger whom you serve, yourself. All bets are off when mental health is in question.
What if those opinions are wrong because of the other person’s own foibles or not really bothering to know you? This is where the meme holds true, I think especially if the other person’s opinion is cruel, aggressive, or hostile. You know who you are. You know you have value (and you do; you are here; you take up space; you matter). It is their loss if they do not realize your value and see only what they wish to see.
The tricky part is when a person in authority is mentally unhealthy or chooses to believe what you know is not true about you. In that case you have no defense, but you know who you are and you must not lose that value. The true challenge may be for your value of yourself to be strong enough to remove yourself from people who you know, for whatever reason, do not believe in you 100 percent.
The only person you can change, of course, is you. How you think about another person is nice and all but it won’t change that person or their behavior. How you behave and what you say and how you look is how people judge or form opinions of you; that’s how we form opinions about others as well. Some people are very uncomfortable if you dare to speak the truth or express an opposite opinion. Not everybody is naturally up-beat, perky, cheerful, as not everybody is naturally gloomy, hostile, or angry. You can change how you think, you can change how you feed your body, you can change how you treat your body such as through exercise or sleep, you can change your behavior, you can learn to change the messy words that come out of your mouth, you can change your surroundings. None of which may change another person’s thoughts about you nor change the other person’s behavior. And while you are entitled to your opinion, other people may not share that opinion. It’s okay to differ, as you know the truth about you.
Believe in yourself, as hard as it is some days. Other people’s opinions about you matter when and if it has an effect on you. It may be hard to remember they aren’t always right about you, but you are always right about what you know about yourself if you take the time to pay attention to yourself, are honest with yourself, and hold yourself accountable with integrity.
Color Watch – blooming attractions in my neighborhoods this week – a tall many blossomed sunflower that reseeds itself each year; fuchsia looking like a bush full of tiny origami Chinese lanterns in hot pink and purple; late summer bounty still coming on in shades of yellow and green; bee gathering pollen on yellow sunflower; a brilliant yellow face full of sunflower.
Currently Reading – Start Where You Are (2001, Buddhist philosophy) by Pema Chodron; We Are Not Ourselves (2014, fiction) by Matthew Thomas; The 48 Laws of Power (1998, psychology) by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers; The Fluoride Deception (2006, medical politics) by Christopher Bryson; How to See Yourself as You Really Are (2007, philosophy) by the Dalai Lama. Yes, concurrently.
This week I have been grateful for:
- The son being the delightful person he is and how he chooses to march to his own drum. 22 years old on 9-11-2014.
- “B”, the homeless lady I learned the name of a few weeks ago, running into me at a local grocery store, and trusting me enough to raise her hand and touch my arm, raise her head with a mostly toothless grin, and having a few social words.
- A friend in need of financial assistance receiving Disability Insurance after a short wait. I like when my tax dollars HELP people.
- My long haired cat who is personally responsible for reseeding most of the neighborhood’s weeds.
- My face and how it changes when I smile.
- Warm weather for the last of a good harvest season.
- Fresh Oregon tomatoes from other people’s gardens.
- September and the changing seasons. Sweet air coming in my open door.
- The luxury of clean water to drink, and cook and clean with, available at the turn of a faucet, indoors.
- Gaining a modicum of relief from my sore back. Moving slowly but hoping to keep moving so I keep what muscle strength I have.
- Oregon strawberries.
Hoping you have a lovely week.
Namaste. Peace. Blessings.
Floral ribbon border by Laurel Burch