Gratitude * Sunday
Sunday’s heartfelt tradition.
A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful.
A list of gratitudes.
Our gratefulness feeds one another.
Quoted from Taryn Wilson
Joining the Gratitude Sunday Tradition at Wooly Moss Roots.
Darkness rises from
earth to restless sky, each day
earlier, to fall.
Reading is such an amazing skill. To put marks on a piece of paper and know that somebody else can interpret those marks into meaningful substance is the stuff of magic. Except it’s science. No, magic. No, science. The same, right? Science is magic until we understand how it works. Maybe magic is still magic even when we understand the science.
Going head-on through grief has its own magic. There is no science to it despite the efforts of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. It is what it is and it can be the same or different or both for any two people. It’s sort of its own twilight zone in one’s life. One goes about the daily tasks of work and hygiene and shopping and exercise with a dim fog of dreamscape over one’s body.
People who know what has happened to you will ask after the fact, a week, two weeks, months later. It’s interesting to note the folks who just listen and possibly share some of their own struggles, and the ones who can’t get away fast enough if you dare to open up a little. I’m not judging. Some folks just can’t deal with other folks’s emotions or were just asking without really caring.
The ones I find objectionable, however, are the ones who say, “Snap out of it”, or “Aren’t you over that yet?” To which I can only answer: NEVER. I have a heart. I will never get over it. My heart has a hole it it now.
Reading soothes me. Knowing other people put their marks down to share comforts me. Writing is the other half of the magic of reading. Sharing my personal words of grief has been helping me swim through the daily shadowy dreamscape. I’m getting ready for mom’s Celebration of Life next Saturday where family will come together to celebrate the woman we will never see or hold again. I’m writing her memorial to share, an adventure in memory and love. The hole in my heart will always be there. I’m told the hole may grow smaller with time. We’ll see.
Flower Watch – blooming attractions in my neighborhoods this week – though the weather is working its way toward autumn I still see summer blossoms: roses, gladiolus, dahlias, cosmos, sunflowers. This week I see the fruits of the blossoms seen a few weeks ago: slender cucumbers, greeny orange tomatoes, fat zucchini.
Currently Reading – All Your Worth: The Ultimate Lifetime Money Plan (social politics) by Elizabeth Warren; Fat Chance: Beating the Odds Against Sugar, Processed Food, Obesity, and Disease (nutrition science and politics) by Robert H. Lustig; How to See Yourself as You Really Are (enlightenment) by the Dalai Lama; The Ciao Bella Book of Gelato and Sorbetto: Bold, Fresh Flavors to Make at Home (cookbook) by F. W. Pearce; Elliot Allagash (fiction novel, more light summer reading) by Simon Rich. Yes, concurrently.
This week I have been grateful for:
- Cool fresh air in the evening.
- Learning how to play with my camera. The techno ditz is always learning.
- More than two days off in a row from my place of employment. Good timing too as I was feeling puny.
- Mister Kitteh is feeling a little better after another trip to the vet. His favorite journey. He gets to be dosed with antibiotics, but I don’t care at this point if it will stop him sneezing and snorting huge awful globs of snot. He needs to feel better.
- Appreciating my wild yard for its wealth of herbish weeds and wild flowers . The spearmint, dandelions, thistles, blackberries, ivy, plantain, moth mullein, wooly mullein, Queen Anne’s lace, wild white violets, morning glories, goose grass, and bee clovers, and others I don’t know the names of yet. Quite healthy and fabulous.
- All of the above of which stick to Mister Kitteh’s beautiful long thick fur. Good thing he likes a good brushing.
- Having an herbish friend who regularly shares her knowledge and aids in my inspiration and knowledge.
- Turning rather spendy leftover restaurant Chinese food that was disappointingly blah into a tasty fried rice meal the next day. Even the hubster said, “You need to collaborate with the restaurant. Did they forget the spices?” It was all about the bacon, scrambled fresh eggs, chopped cilantro and green onion I added. I would have added some ginger if I’d had it. When you eat simply it’s all about the flavor. Of course, everything is better with bacon.
- Fresh picked Oregon Albion strawberries from the Farmer’s Market. And donut nectarines, oddly shaped, but oh, so sweet! Why, yes, I am a pathetic fruitaholic.
- The first sweet corn of the season, and butter dripping down my chin.
- Rediscovering a tiny stream not far from my house and enjoying the smell of the water and the cool vibrations in the air around it.
- The labyrinth on the local campus, a weekly constant.
Hoping you have a lovely week.
Namaste. Peace. Blessings.